Saturday, February 28, 2009

Confessions of a Shopaholic

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Confessions of a Shopaholic (D-). Long-time readers of The Movie Court know I don't really go in for chick flicks. Independent films (Henry Poole Is Here), bawdy comedies (Stepbrothers, Role Models), foreign films (A Secret), documentaries (Under the Sea 3D), and rough-and-tumble action fare (Quantum of Solace, Inkheart) are much more my cup of tea. So I don't know what possessed me to see this movie about a New York girl with a credit-card-debt problem, who miraculously lands a job writing a financial column for a magazine edited by a handsome Brit. Isla Fisher (Definitely, Maybe) is cute and game, and I have it on good authority that Hugh Dancy (The Jane Austen Book Club) is a good-looking fellow, but this movie is simply terrible--long, boring, and simply not funny. And a remarkably fine supporting cast (John Goodman, Arachnophobia; Joan Cusack, School of Rock; Leslie Bibb, Iron Man; John Lithgow, Footloose; Kristen Scott Thomas, Gosford Park; Julie Hagerty, Airplane!) is truly and utterly wasted. Save your money. Save your time. Save yourself.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Henry Poole Is Here

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Henry Poole Is Here (B). Luke Wilson (Old School) plays the title character, a middle-aged guy who looks like he is just about to implode. As the movie opens, he wearily buys a nondescript house in a nondescript California suburb, buys a shopping cart full of liquor and junk food at the supermarket, and looks like he is settling in to drink himself to death. But then his curious neighbor Esperanza (Adriana Barraza, Babel) pays a visit, and she becomes convinced she sees the face of Christ in a water stain on the side of his house. And then Henry meets his other next-door neighbors--the lovely Dawn (Radha Mitchell, Finding Neverland) and her troubled six-year-old daughter Millie. (Does anyone really name their daughter Millie these days? The only Millie I have ever known is 60+ years old now.) What is Henry's secret sorrow? And is there really a miraculous image on the side of his house? I was drawn in by this little movie, and if my little description remotely appeals to you, I urge you to give it a try.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Pride & Prejudice (stage review)

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Pride & Prejudice (Repertory Company Theatre). Well, I didn't see this play in time for my review to help anybody decide to see to it. It ran from Feb. 13-22 at the Promenade Theatre on Coit Road in Richardson. But I case say that the production was of high quality and that I'll definitely be willing to see RCT productions in the future. This play was adapted from the Jane Austen novel by James Maxwell, and it's pretty faithful to the novel as best I can remember. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet have larger parts than I remember them having in the novel, and Mrs. Bennet in particular is an over-the-top character who is really played for laughs. The actors in the major roles all did splendidly, especially Elizabeth and Jane Bennet, and only a couple of the minor players wobbled a little bit. The acoustics were generally good, although it seemed like a couple of people were inadequately miked. The Promenade Theatre is a small one, only 9 rows of seats or so, so there's probably not a bad seat in the house. And at $20 ($25 for musicals), an RCT show is not a bad bargain. I urge you to give it a try.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Under the Sea 3D (IMAX)

New review from The Movie Snob

Under the Sea 3D (B). I have weakness for IMAX documentaries, and this one is yet another beautifully filmed journal of encounters with remarkable critters like cuttlefish, sea snakes, leafy sea dragons, stonefish, sea lions, and even a great white shark. The movie was shot in Indonesian and Australian waters, and Jim Carry (The Truman Show) provides narration that is only slightly more lively than Daryl Hannah (Splash) gave us in Whales and Dolphins. Although the movie is good, it is also exactly what you expect, Maybe it's time to give the oceans a rest, boys.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

The Borg Queen delivers this DVD review.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (C-)

Home sick with nothing to do, I watched this movie from my Netflix selection. I was hoping for some mindless, action-filled entertainment with some jokes intermixed. My expectations were low, and I was still relatively disappointed. This movie just didn't hold my attention, especially in the middle, and I found myself waiting for it to end. Though I typically like mindless action flicks, this one was, I guess, just a little too mindless. And I don't remember laughing at any jokes, though I think a couple of eye rolls occurred. Skip it.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Stepbrothers

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Stepbrothers (B-). How do you rate, much less review, a movie that is as unrelentingly crude, that is as aggressively stupid, and that is as completely nonsensical as this one? Especially if it makes you laugh out loud several times along the way? The "plot" is preposterous. Will Ferrell (Stranger Than Fiction) and John C. Reilly (For Love of the Game) are Brennan and Dale--40-year-old men who still live at home with their single parents, played by Richard Jenkins (The Visitor) and Mary Steenburgen (Parenthood). Their world is upended when their parents meet and wed. Brennan and Dale act like they are about 9 years old. At first they hate each other, then they become best friends. Brennan has a successful younger brother named Derek who makes his family sing "Sweet Child of Mine" like a hymn while they ride in their SUV. Derek's wife hits on Dale quite enthusiastically after he punches Derek in the face for being an arrogant jerk. Brennan falls in love with his therapist. Brennan and Dale go on job interviews together, with predictable results. None of it makes any sense, but as I said, I got some laughs out of it.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Tales, by H.P. Lovecraft

Book review from The Movie Snob

Tales, by H.P. Lovecraft (The Library of America 2005). I have long been curious about the writings of H.P. Lovecraft, who lived from 1890 to 1937 and was apparently a successful writer of "weird tales." I became aware of his work in my youth thanks to the game Dungeons & Dragons. One of the several handbooks involved in that game was called Deities and Demigods, and it presented mythological figures not only from standard sources such as Greek, Norse, and even Egyptian mythology, but also from modern authors such as Michael Moorcock and Fritz Leiber. But the one that most captured my attention was the "Cthulhu Mythos," based on Lovecraft's work. The gist seemed to be that there was a pantheon of immensely powerful, hideous, and evil beings that existed somewhere--on Earth? deep underground? in another dimension?--in a sort of hibernational state. Obscure and degraded human cults retained a vestigial knowledge of these ancient terrors, worshipped them, and tried to revive them to wreak their havoc on poor humanity. Cthulhu himself was some sort of immense octopus-headed dragonlike creature, and even to gaze upon him or the other abominations was to court full-blown insanity. Pretty impressive stuff.

But the 800 pages of tales collected here generally left me cold. It's pretty much the same thing over and over again. An intelligent man (women are virtually nonexistent in these stories) dabbles in forbidden lore or gets sucked into learning the black arts, and his lust for knowledge threatens to unleash a cataclysm of evil on the whole human race. Or an explorer discovers traces of an incredibly ancient and alien civilization that existed on earth long before the dawn of man. Lovecraft is amazingly inarticulate when he tries to describe the horrible things these poor guys encounter. For example: "The Thing cannot be described--there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order." Well, okay--so Cthulhu is scary, then? And he uses the adjective "Cyclopean" in almost every single story. (Was Lovecraft's middle name Polyphemus? I wondered.) And to put the icing on the cake, he comes off as racist, especially in the earlier stories, and sure enough the "chronology" in the back of the book reveals that as a teenager he once wrote a poem decrying abolition, based on the works of some white supremacist. I really cannot recommend this book; only a single story, "The Shadow Over Innsmouth," struck me as even slightly above average.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Coraline

From The Movie Snob

Coraline (B). This animated movie is rated PG, and the villain is a touch scary for very small children. Most everyone else should probably enjoy this story about Coraline, a smart but headstrong little girl who has been uprooted to Oregon by her distracted parents. They move into a musty old house that's been subdivided into three apartments, with an eccentric Russian acrobat living upstairs and a pair of faded burlesque stars living in the basement. In short order, Coraline discovers a mysterious little door that seems to open into another dimension when night falls. In this alternate universe, everybody seems to be oh-so-much-better/nicer/funner than the people back home--except for the slightly sinister fact that they all have buttons for eyes. Adventure ensues. The heroine is an appealing and spunky little kid, and I'd probably give the film a higher grade if it didn't feel just the tad bit long by the end. Oh, I should mention for parents' benefit that there is one odd scene in which one of the two old burlesque stars--the exceptionally bosomy one--appears virtually naked for quite a while. It comes off comically, but I can imagine some parents not appreciating that.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Inkheart

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Inkheart (C-). I really expected to enjoy this family-oriented action movie, starring that likable lug Brendan Fraser (Journey to the Center of the Earth). It got a good review in the Dallas Morning News, and it has a fine cast (Helen Mirren, The Queen; Jim Broadbent, Bridget Jones's Diary; Andy Serkis, The Lord of the Rings). The plot had promise: Fraser's character is a "silvertongue," meaning when he reads a book, the stuff he reads becomes reality. But when something enters our world, something from our world has to go into the book, and this inconvenient fact cost Fraser his wife some years ago. Since then he has been on a quest to find a copy of Inkheart, the book she disappeared into, dragging behind him their cute-as-a-button daughter Meggie (Eliza Bennett, Nanny McPhee). Turns out somebody has conjured up hordes of the bad guys out of that very book, and they have holed up in a remote Italian castle where they plot all sorts of mischief. I can't quite put my finger on why the movie doesn't work--maybe it's because the bad guys seem to hold all the cards the entire movie, while our little band of heroes is generally either in the dungeon or desperately trying not to get thrown in there. For whatever reason, this movie just didn't work for me.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

DVD review from The Movie Snob

The Day the Earth Stood Still (B+). I picked this one up in a bargain bin last fall in advance of the new remake starring Keanu Reeves (A Scanner Darkly). Then the bad reviews for the remake started rolling in, and I put the DVD on the back burner. But I finally put it in the player, and I was pleasantly pleased at how well this old black-and-white sci-fi flick stands the test of time. A spaceship lands in Washington, DC, and Klaatu, the human-looking alien on board, insists that he has a critical message that must be delivered to all the nations of the world simultaneously. Naturally the government and military types are loathe to facilitate this. Then Klaatu gives them the slip and moves into a boarding house in order to learn more about our strange and warlike species. There he befriends a WWII widow (Patricia Neal, Hud, sounding and even somewhat looking like Captain Janeway on Star Trek: Voyager) and her young son. But friendship cannot turn him from his mission: to warn humanity that outer-space aliens will destroy the earth if humanity continues to develop atomic weapons without curbing its tendency to violence. Oh, and there's an indestructible robot named Gort, and the memorable phrase "Klaatu barada nikto" is as important in this film as it would later be in Army of Darkness. And I mustn't forget Frances "Aunt Bea" Bavier's memorable turn as fussy matron Mrs. Barley. Definitely worth seeing.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Movie review from Nick at Nite

Beverly Hills Chihuahua

I cannot believe I went to see this movie. My son sabotaged me. He wanted to go. It was the weekend. It seemed like a good idea. It was not. I take that back. He loved it. So, it was probably worth it. How far has Jamie Lee Curtis fallen? Piper Perabo? Why? I guess they needed a check. Ms. Curtis’ dog gets lost in Mexico. Ms. Perabo was supposed to be watching the dog. Ms. Perabo, the gardener, and the gardener’s dog travel to Mexico to save Ms. Curtis’ dog. Hilarity ensues. I don’t know if I am being too sensitive – it is a movie with talking dogs – but this movie seems to embrace some negative cultural stereotypes too much for my taste. I give it a “D.” For dog and dumb.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Wanted

A new review from Nick at Nite

Wanted

This movie surprised me. I was surprised it was watchable at all. I got the impression from the reviews I read that Wanted was the bastard love child of Alien v. Predator II and Grindhouse or as I like to refer to them – the two worst movies ever made. Here is the main issue. Critics need to relax, take a smoke break, and grab a beer. If you go to see a movie about a group of assassins – who are actually seamstresses – who have been killing people based on names that are spit out of a magic loom, you cannot complain that the movie is not realistic. This movie is not supposed to be realistic. It is escapist fare. It is for eating popcorn and enjoying. Our intrepid hero is working a boring desk job when he finds out that his father who has just been killed is a member of a group of assassins. He is recruited to join the group to avenge his father’s death. It has two or three plot twists. It is pretty violent. It is action packed. It also had Angelina Jolie – wow. I give it an “A.”

Sunday, February 08, 2009

New in Town

New review from The Movie Snob

New in Town (B). Eeep. Yes, I actually enjoyed this featherweight, by-the-numbers romantic comedy that currently has a stellar 29 rating on Metacritic.com. Am I getting soft in my old age? Am I that fond of scrunchy-faced ol' Renee Zellweger (Miss Potter)? Surely not, but there it is. Renee plays a rising star in some Miami-based corporate conglomerate who is packed off to Minnesota to fire half the workforce at a food-processing plant. It's cold there. Everybody talks like the policewoman from Fargo, except for the strapping and available union rep (Harry Connick, Jr., Copycat). Does Renee's hard-charging executive undergo a change of heart once she's exposed to these warm-hearted caricatures? Does Trudy Van Uuden want to steal Blanche Gunderson's prized tapioca recipe? You betcha. I'm not saying this is a great or even a good movie. I'm just saying it made for a pleasant Sunday matinee.

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