Sunday, November 22, 2009

Hotel for Dogs

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Hotel for Dogs (C+). Your options can get pretty limited when (1) you're trying to pick a movie that both you and The Borg Queen will be able to tolerate, and (2) you're renting out of one of those "Red Box" machines. Last night, this is what we ended up with, a Nickelodeon/DreamWorks production about a brother and sister who turn an abandoned hotel into a refuge for an ever-growing pack of stray dogs. The dogs are cute, and the movie is generally entertaining enough. Lisa Kudrow (Romy and Michele's High School Reunion) has a thankless role as the siblings' unpleasant foster mother; Don Cheadle (Hotel Rwanda) fares somewhat better as their exasperated social worker/case manager. The star is a pretty teenaged actress heretofore unknown to me named Emma Roberts (Nancy Drew); she reminds me of a young Daphne Zuniga (Spaceballs). Anyhoo, this is a decent, family-friendly movie, even if it won't win any Academy Awards.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

The Messenger

A new movie review from The Movie Snob

The Messenger (B-). The Dallas Morning News gave this movie a glowing review, so I hurried on out to see it opening weekend. It was good, but far from great. Staff Sergeant Will Montgomery (Ben Foster, X-Men: The Last Stand) is back in the States after being injured in Iraq, and for the last three months of his enlistment period the Army assigns him to the task of notifying the next of kin of soldiers who have been killed (whether in combat or in accidents). He is paired up with a veteran notifier, Capt. Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson, Zombieland), who is a recovered alcoholic and perhaps a touch crazy. The notification scenes really work--I've read that Foster and Harrelson weren't told what was going to happen in those scenes, so their reactions would be more authentic. But the rest of the movie, such as Montgomery's tentative relationship with a war widow (Samantha Morton, Code 46), generally didn't feel all that authentic to me. So it's kind of a mixed bag of a movie. And is it just me, or does Ben Foster's voice sound just like Michael Douglas's (Romancing the Stone)?

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Rome and Jerusalem (book review)

From The Movie Snob

Rome and Jerusalem: The Clash of Ancient Civilizations, by Martin Goodman (Vintage 2007). I have really taken a shine to popular history books about ancient Greece and Rome, and this recent book is squarely in that vein. The focal point of this book is the Jewish rebellion against the Roman Empire in 66 A.D., and the subsequent destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple in 70. After a brief sketch describing the fall of Jerusalem, Goodman spends most of this book comparing and contrasting almost every aspect of Roman and Jewish culture in the decades leading up to the disaster, trying to understand why such staggering violence erupted after many decades of relative peace. At the end of the book, he describes the aftermath of the struggle, the political reasons that led Rome to take the unusual step of forbidding the reconstruction of the Temple, and the response of the young Christian movement to the events and aftermath of 70 A.D. It is a long and dense book--557 pages of very small type--but I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

(Untitled)

Movie review from The Movie Snob

(Untitled) (C-). This is an intermittently amusing independent comedy about the New York art scene. The hirsute Adam Goldberg (2 Days in Paris) plays Adrian Jacobs, a composer of atonal musical works in which metallic buckets are commonly featured instruments. His brother Josh (Eion Bailey, never heard of him) churns out colorful cloudscape paintings for hotels and doctors' offices, but he wants to be taken seriously as an artist. And then there's gallery operator Madeleine (Marley Shelton, who's a dead ringer for Heather Graham, Austin Powers: The Spy WHo Shagged Me), who dates Adrian while using Josh as her meal ticket so she can afford to show cutting-edge art involving stuffed opossums hanging from a chandelier, or the aptly titled piece "Light Bulb Going On and Off." There are a few chuckles to be had--I especially enjoyed a scene in which a filthy rich "collector" invites a girl to his place, and she conks her noggin on some very artistic blue squares sticking out of the wall in an inconvenient spot--but the movie drags a bit even though it's only 96 minutes long.

Monday, November 16, 2009

The Ugly Truth

From the desk of The Movie Snob

The Ugly Truth (D). It stunk. Now, don't get me wrong. It is possible to make a good movie in which a prim and proper woman is thrown together with a rough-around-the-edges rogue, and erotic tension ensues. Think of classics like Gone With the Wind, The African Queen, and The Empire Strikes Back. But by no means think of this recent DVD release starring Katherine Heigl (Knocked Up) and Gerard Butler (The Phantom of the Opera). She's Abby, an uptight morning-TV-show producer; he's Mike, a crude Howard Stern type who's foisted on her to boost ratings. Mike is supposed to have unique insights into what makes men and women tick, but in reality he's just a foul-mouthed boor with a uniquely low opinion of men and women alike. In the real world, Abby would respond to this walking hostile-work-environment with a lawsuit, but in this cretinous film things turn out differently--perhaps because, just beneath the surface, Abby is almost as vulgar and unpleasant as Mike is. This movie will not only waste your time, but I honestly believe it will make you worse as a person. I lament that it grossed $89 million in this country alone. Avoid it.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

9

New review from The Movie Snob

9 (C). I caught this animated feature at the dollar theater, and that was about the right price. In a post-apocalyptic world, a handful of tiny, human-shaped "people" huddle together in a bombed-out church where they seek sanctuary against a few destructive robots still roaming around in the debris. Each has a number painted on its back, and 9 is the last one to show up. What happened to all the human beings? Are the little people alive, or are they mechanical themselves? And who made them? Well, I guess those are the questions you're supposed to be asking yourself during this flick. Although the visuals were interesting, the story was not all that engrossing, and it kind of falls apart in mystical mumbo-jumbo after a while. They have some decent acting talent supplying the vocals (Jennifer Connelly, Elijah Wood, Martin Landau, Christopher Plummer), but only John C. Reilly's character stands out. I guess it would be worth a Netflix, if you have nothing better to watch.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Impact

DVD review from The Borg Queen

Impact

B-

This is an above-average made-for-TV miniseries about an asteroid that hits the Earth's moon, starring Natasha Henstridge (Species), James Cromwell (fondly known by the Borg Queen as Dr. Zefram Cochrane), David James Elliott, Stephen Culp, Benjamin Sadler, and Samantha Ferris (all individuals with numerous one-episode appearances on various TV shows). At first, the damage to Earth resulting from the asteroid seems relatively minimal, but subsequent unusual natural disturbances suggest otherwise. Soon enough, a team of scientists determines that the moon is on a crash-course with Earth, leaving only 39 days for Earth to avoid certain complete obliteration. I give this movie props for making efforts to be different from other impact-based disaster movies. Although there were elements of predictability, the movie did offer something new to the table in this genre. The special effects were also pretty good. The acting was B- caliber (of course, some were better/worse than others), there were some good personal story lines along the way, and I even shed a few tears (of course, that was a malfunction relating to my Borg implants). Overall, I enjoyed the movie. It is long (190 minutes), but good enough for a quiet night (or two quiet nights) in.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The Oozing Skull

DVD review from The Movie Snob

The Oozing Skull, brought to you by Cinematic Titanic (D+). This was apparently the first DVD release by Cinematic Titanic, which is a gang of some of the creators of Mystery Science Theater: 3000. It works just like MST3K; they play the movie and riff on how bad it is. You can see their silhouettes as they do it. The Oozing Skull is truly a terrible movie, about a mad scientist who is hired to perform a brain transplant to save a dying president from somewhere in the Middle East or Asia. But the riffing is just not all that entertaining. I think the MST3K guys may just have been a little rusty, because when I saw them live here in Dallas a while back, they were just hilarious. Give this one a pass.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Overboard

DVD review from The Movie Court

Overboard (D). Some young friends of mine insisted that I needed to watch this 1987 Kurt Russell-Goldie Hawn flick. In fact, one of said friends actually loaned me the DVD. Oh, my. This is one of the worst movies I have seen in a while--maybe since the execrable Hello Again, starring Shelley Long. I know this movie came out 22 years ago, but surely the use of amnesia as a key plot device was worn out even back then. Anyhoo, Goldie Hawn plays a ridiculously wealthy witch of a woman who cheats Kurt Russell's blue-collar carpenter out of a weekend's wages. When she falls overboard from her yacht and gets amnesia, Russell gets revenge by claiming to be her husband and dragging her back to his hovel to clean, cook, and take care of his four monstrous boys. Crude sexual humor is sprinkled throughout, and we are treated (?) to a lengthy inspection of Hawn's white behind in the early going. I was also offended by the lame cover-band version of the ZZ Top classic "Legs" at the opening of Russell's dream business--a miniature golf course. Wretched, wretched stuff. Avoid at all costs.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Zombieland

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Zombieland (B-). I'm no horror-movie buff, but I'm kind of developing a taste for zombie movies -- or at least ones that have a sense of humor about them, like Shaun of the Dead and this current release. As our movie begins, the zombies have already conquered America, leaving only a very few human survivors. There's Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg, Adventureland), a neurotic fellow of about 25 who has developed roughly 31 rules for staying alive in Zombieland. There's Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson, Management), a buff crazy dude who loves to kill zombies. And there are sisters Wichita (Emma Stone, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin, No Reservations). Despite some friction, the four team up and head out west, where they have heard there might not be any zombies. Apparently the zombies hordes have been depopulating themselves somehow, because there really aren't all that many zombies around, and the movie is largely a road-trip movie with some decently clever dialogue and a truly bizarre but entertaining sequence involving an extended cameo by a major Hollywood star. Don't get me wrong, there's some gross zombie stuff too, but not as much as you might expect. Cute little Abigail Breslin is starting to grow up, so we'll see how she segues into older roles. And Emma Stone was much more attractive than I had any reason to expect from her past roles.

If you go see this movie, be advised that there is apparently a final scene after the closing credits, or so I have read. I didn't know that, so I didn't stay for it. Dad gum!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Charlie Bartlett

The Borg Queen reviews another DVD release

Charlie Bartlett - B

I enjoyed this movie because it was different and generally well acted. It is a story about a rich teenage boy with a relatively unstable but likeable mother. He gets kicked out of private school and enrolls in public school, where he finds that his easy access to psychiatrists, and therefore prescription drugs, puts him in a position to become the counselor for the student body. The cast includes Anton Yelchin (Star Trek), Robert Downey Jr., (Iron Man), Hope Davis (The Hoax), and Kat Dennings (House Bunny). It is a charming, honest story about Charlie as he learns to adapt to his new school, befriend a bully, develop a relationship with the principal's daughter, and deal with the relationship he has with his mother and his non-present father. It also has subplots about the principal (Robert Downey Jr.) and his struggles to acquire the respect of his students, cope with alcoholism, and repair the relationship with his daughter. It is not oscar-worthy, but it is a good flick for a night in.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Obsessed

The Borg Queen assimiliates this DVD

Obsessed - D+

It was slim pickings on my netflix queue. This movie was entertaining enough for a run-of-the-mill single-white-female-type flick when I had absolutely nothing else to do, but there was nothing new about it. This is a story about a temporary secretary (Lisa) who becomes obsessed with a rich, married executive (Derek). All of the typical things occur--such as Lisa attempting to corner Derek into an "encounter," threats to the family, etc. But the story was the same story we've seen multiple times before, and it didn't have any edge to it at all. To say that the characters were underdeveloped would be a compliment, as I don't really believe they were developed at all. The acting was also mediocre, and I thought Beyonce (who played the role of Derek's wife) was sub-par.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (C). This is the 1941 black-and-white version starring Spencer Tracy as the good doctor and the evil Hyde, and co-starring the lovely Lana Turner and the luminous Ingrid Bergman. I don't really remember the original Robert Louis Stevenson story, but the movie is a rather slow and plodding affair. The benevolent Dr. Jekyll hits a dead end in his research and unwisely uses himself as an experimental subject. The result is the unleashing of his own inner demons, in the form of Mr. Hyde. While Jekyll's fiancee (Turner) is away on an extended trip, Hyde takes up with--and terrorizes--a poor barmaid (Bergman). Can Jekyll put the genie back in the bottle? Of course the movie is very clean, but there is some surprisingly suggestive imagery, especially in the dreamlike sequence when Jekyll first transforms into Hyde. Anyhoo, it's still a much better movie than the terrible Mary Reilly starring Julia Roberts and John Malkovich. Yuck!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

A Serious Man

A new review from The Movie Snob

A Serious Man (B). I skipped the last couple of offerings from the Coen brothers, but the reviews for this one caught for attention. Our local critic called it a modern retelling of the Book of Job, so I was intrigued. Setting aside a weird but interesting prologue, the movie is a slice from the life of a nondescript Jewish college professor named Larry Gopnick, circa 1967. Unlike Job, who is presented as being very rich and very holy, Larry seems to be a very ordinary guy--decent enough, but not particularly virtuous. Some things start to go wrong in his life, and he begins to question whether there is any justice in the universe. Is there a God behind it all? And if so, what is he trying to tell poor Larry, who repeatedly protests, "I didn't do anything!" But then, could that be the very reason his life is starting to fall apart? I really got engrossed in the movie and was eager to see how it all played out for poor Larry, but the ending let me down a little bit. In hindsight, though, it's probably not a bad ending. Anyway, I enjoyed it, and if you see it in a thoughtful frame of mind I think you will too.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Surrogates (our 1000th post!)

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Surrogates (C+). Disposable sci-fi/action fare starring Bruce Willis (Bandits) (good grief -- this is the first Bruce Willis movie I've seen in like 8 years). The premise is certainly interesting. In the near future, no one ever leaves the house; instead we plug into a computer network and use very realistic androids called surrogates to go out and do everything for us. Naturally, the surrogates tend to be rather better looking than their human owners; moreover, there's no requirement that your surrogate be the same age, race, or sex as you are. Anyhoo, there's a shock to the system when two androids get gunned down and, despite "foolproof" safety systems, their human operators die at the same time. Willis, who's an FBI agent, follows the clues to a reservation of "Dreads," humans who view surrogates as abominations and refuse to use them, and beyond. When his own surrogate gets destroyed, he has to pull his pasty, out-of-shape self out of his chair and do some literal footwork to find out who is behind all the shenanigans. The lovely Rosamund Pike (Die Another Die) plays Willis's wife, and Radha Mitchell (Henry Poole Is Here) plays his FBI partner.

Oh, and they used exterior shots of the Bank of America building in downtown Dallas as the headquarters for the sinister corporation VSI. Cool!

And that, friends, is The Movie Court's 1000th post. How about that?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

27 Dresses

DVD review from The Movie Snob

27 Dresses (C). A surprisingly high number of recognizable faces show up in this by-the-numbers romantic comedy. Jane (Katherine Heigl, Knocked Up) loves weddings, which is a good thing because she has been a bridesmaid 27 times. She's also in love with her boss George (Edward Burns, She's the One). But her kid sister Tess (Malin Akerman, Watchmen) swoops in and sinks her claws into George, while simultaneously Kevin (James Marsden, X Men), a newspaper wedding columnist, starts getting into Jane's head. Two musical montages and one horrible barroom rendition of "Bennie and the Jets" later, we finally get to see who ends up with whom. It's not horrible, but it's not great either, and it is definitely a tad too long. Moreover, the terrific Judy Greer (Elizabethtown) is criminally underused as Jane's best friend. See it if you must. You've been warned.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Reflections on the Revolution in Europe

Book review from The Movie Snob

Reflections on the Revolution in Europe: Immigration, Islam, and the West, by Christopher Caldwell (Doubleday 2009). I'm not sure why, but I find this subject (generally, Muslim immigration and declining Western fertility) very interesting. Canadian Mark Steyn writes a lot of columns about Western and Muslim demographics, and of course he's a big doomsayer, but a lot of what he says sounds plausible to me. This book is like a big, expanded version of one of Steyn's columns, and these are the main points I took away from it: (1) Europe now has a lot of Muslims living in it, and (2) although a lot of Europeans don't like it, (3) no one really knows what to do about it. At the same time, many European political elites do not acknowledge that there is any "immigration problem," much less that anything needs to be done about demographic patterns. (Interestingly, American-style affirmative action is apparently just now getting started in some parts of Europe.) Caldwell ends his book with the line, "When an insecure, malleable, relativistic culture meets a culture that is anchored, confident, and strengthened by common doctrines, it is generally the former that changes to suit the latter." I guess the next few decades will tell if this generalization pans out.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Whip It

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Whip It (B). Drew Barrymore's directorial debut stars current It Girl Ellen Page (X Men: The Last Stand) as Bliss Cavendar, a misfit high schooler not unlike the title character in Juno. Bliss is stuck in the tiny Texas town of Bodeen, her mom insists that she compete in local beauty pageants, and she is just generally depressed with her lot in life . . . until she discovers roller derby. Before you can say "elbow pads," little Bliss has survived open tryouts and joined the Hurl Scouts, a team in the Austin roller derby league. It strains credibility how quickly Bliss makes the transition from Barbie skates to league stardom, and how hard she falls for a homely, grungy singer in a two-bit rock band. But I can't deny that I enjoyed watching the last-place Hurl Scouts claw their way up the standings for a climactic Bad News Bears style battle with the reigning Holy Rollers. And who didn't get a little misty-eyed when Bliss's disappointed mama nevertheless shows up to watch the big game? Well, I didn't, but I bet a lot of people did.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (B-). I was hanging out with the Borg Queen this evening, and I did not object to her putting this recent release on the old DVD player. It is yet another reworking of Dickens's A Christmas Carol. Matthew McConaughey (Contact) stars as Connor Mead, a successful fashion photographer and even more successful practitioner of the art of casual sex. But Connor is no shallow hedonist; he has a fully worked-out anti-marriage philosophy. His boorish defense of this philosophy gets him into trouble when he shows up for the festivities the day before his younger brother's wedding. But then the ghost of his dear departed Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas, A Chorus Line) appears to Connor, and the customary three apparitions thereafter try to show Connor the error of his philandering, loveless ways. Jennifer Garner (Juno), who is not my favorite actress in the world by a long shot, plays the One Who Got Away. Diverting fluff.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Collected Works of Flannery O'Connor

Book review from The Movie Snob

Collected Works, by Flannery O'Connor (Library of America 1988). I have been meaning to try O'Connor's work for a long time, given her sterling reputation as a Southern and Catholic author. So I picked up this convenient volume of her works and dove in. So far I'm through the short novel Wise Blood and the short-story collection A Good Man Is Hard to Find, I have enjoyed them a lot. The characters are vividly drawn, and many of the stories feature shocking twists or acts of violence that still pack a punch in this jaded age some 50 years on. Christianity often has a prominent role in these stories, and O'Connor's characters--mostly ordinary Southern folk--usually have a devil of a time grappling with it. I'm sure this stuff would not be everyone's cup of tea, but you should give it a try sometime and see what you think.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

A Woman in Berlin

From the desk of The Movie Snob

A Woman in Berlin (B+). Longtime readers of The Movie Court may remember that I reviewed the book this movie was based on a few years ago. The book is a remarkable one. It is an anonymous diary by a woman who was in Berlin when it was conquered by the Soviet Army in April and May 1945. She was a journalist, so she was well-equipped to record what it was like for the Berliners as they struggled to survive--first, the final days of the war, and then the brutality of the Soviet occupation. She first tried to publish the diary in the 1950s, and she was widely condemned in Germany for publicizing the humiliations that the Germans had suffered, especially the widespread raping of German women by Soviet soldiers. Only after the author's death was it republished a few years ago. From everything I have read, it is generally accepted as an authentic diary and an accurate record of the events depicted. It is a gripping read, but it caught me by surprise that a movie had been made of it. It is faithful rendition to the book, as best I can remember the book, although it seems that the movie skimps on the beginning of the book , before the arrival of the Red Army, and on the end, when things become more normal and the diarist is put to work at various jobs. But the acting is good, and the movie successfully makes its points without being too graphic or lurid.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Fame (2009)

The Movie Snob offers up a new review.

Fame (C+). Let's say it up front: I never saw the original 1980 movie, nor the TV series that ran from 1982-1987, so I can't tell you if this reincarnation is better or worse than its predecessors. I can tell you that it reminded me of A Chorus Line, albeit a tame, after-school-special version. In the opening scene, hundreds of kids are auditioning to try to get into a New York City high school for the performing arts. Then we follow a handful of those who make the cut through all four years of their high school experience. Given that it's only 107 minutes long, the movie feels rushed throughout. The veteran actors who play the teachers (e.g., Kelsey Grammer, Bebe Neuwirth) have only a few minutes of screentime; most of the movie consists of song-and-dance performances by the young stars, connected by talky scenes to establish two-dimensional characterizations and cliched conflicts. Actually, I was reasonably entertained by the performance sequences, but the Borg Queen saw it with me and said that even they were lackluster. I thought it was okay for a matinee, but I think BQ would tell you to avoid it at all costs.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Pandorum

Another review from the pen of Movie Man Mike

Pandorum B. This Sci-fi/horror film was a little heavier on the horror side than I anticipated. It was extremely suspenseful. I was exhausted by the end of it. The story is set in the future when Earth’s natural resources are becoming rapidly depleted. Earth discovers another far away planet that is about as close to Earth’s own conditions as possible. A space ship with thousands of humans is launched on a multi-year journey to start a colony on the new planet. “Pandorum” is the name that was given to a type of psychological space sickness that seems a little bit like paranoia. The movie opens with flight crew Bower (played by Ben Foster) and Payton (played by Dennis Quaid) waking up from suspended animation to discover that something is wrong with the space ship. Bower heads towards the ship’s reactor to reset it and get the ship going, but he encounters some very unexpected obstacles along the way. This was a thoroughly enjoyable sci-fi film that fits well within this “B” category of films. If you don’t see it at the theaters, it would make a good rental.

Monday, September 28, 2009

9

Movie Man Mike bestows a review on us.

9 (not “District 9”) C+. The theme of this film is a common one—man-made machines take over the earth and exterminate all human life. I was taken in by the film because it (a) is a Tim Burton film, (b) is animated, and (c) had cool music to go with the trailer I watched online. I never heard the same music that I heard as part of the trailer. Visually the movie was captivating. The animation was great. At the end of the day, however, I wasn’t “wowed” by the story. The writers did nothing new with this old theme and the resolution of the story-line left me wanting. I was interested to see that the theater I saw this in was not very full, but it had a mix of children and adults. Yet, after watching the film, I am not really sure who the film’s target audience is. Maybe teens? This one is more of a rental, if you are inclined to see it.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Informant!

From the desk of The Movie Snob

The Informant! (B). Matt Damon (Good Will Hunting) plays Mark Whitacre, a biochemist and executive at agribusiness giant Archer Daniels Midland. The company suspects industrial sabotage by a Japanese competitor, and the FBI gets involved. But when an FBI agent (Scott Bakula of Quantum Leap fame) goes out to Whitacre's house to install a recording device on his telephone, Whitacre drops a bomb: ADM is involved in an international price-fixing conspiracy. He agrees to turn informant and help the Bureau build its antitrust case by wearing a wire. But Whitacre has some . . . difficulties with truth-telling, as it turns out, making the FBI's job that much more difficult (to say nothing about the challenge Whitacre poses to his own lawyers). I thought it was an entertaining little film, kind of like Catch Me If You Can. On a side note, one of the FBI people is played by Ann Cusack, sister of John and Joan, and even though I couldn't remember ever seeing her before, there was no mistaking the Cusackness of her voice. Also, old-school comedians Tom and Dick Smothers make cameo appearances.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Freaks

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Freaks (B+). This 1932 film is apparently now considered a classic. Directed by Tod Browning (Dracula), it is a straightforward story of love and deception in a traveling circus troupe. It shocked contemporary audiences, and is still pretty shocking today, because much of the cast was made up of actual "circus freaks": people suffering from various chronic handicaps and deformities, such as Johnny Eck, who was born without legs, and Siamese twins Daisy and Violet Hilton. Anyway, the circus's ballerina seduces a midget named Hans, and when she finds out he is secretly wealthy, she concocts a plot to marry and murder him for his money. But the freaks look out for their own.... It is not a subtle film, but it is still an interesting and effective one.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

The Haunting (1963)

DVD review from The Movie Snob

The Haunting (B+). Usually these old movies aren't so great, but this one was a pretty effective chiller. Hill House is a big, creepy house with a dark past -- irresistible to a gung-ho professor with an acute interest in the supernatural. He recruits two women, plus the brash young man who stands to inherit the place, to move into the place with him and help him investigate any unusual phenomena. One of the women, Eleanor, is already a little unhinged when she arrives, and the weird goings-on soon threaten her fragile sanity. Or is everything already all in her mind? The movie is surprisingly scary. Director Robert Wise (The Sound of Music) makes do with minimal special visual effects and virtually no things that jump out and go boo. Camera angles and sound effects effectively create an atmosphere of paranoia and dread. If you like scary movies, this one is worth seeing.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

House of Wax (1953)

DVD review from The Movie Snob

House of Wax (C). No, this isn't the remake starring Paris Hilton; this is the 1953 original starring Vincent Price (Edward Scissorhands) and featuring a young Charles Bronson (Crime Wave) as Igor. Price plays Henry Jarrod, a fey and eccentric master sculptor of wax figures who refuses to sensationalize his work so as to pander to the crowds. His business partner wants out, and when Jarrod refuses to let him torch Jarrod's display room so as to collect the insurance money, his partner beats Jarrod senseless and leaves him in the burning building. Soon thereafter, a mysterious and disfigured villain starts stealing bodies from the morgue and terrorizing a young woman who's a dead ringer for Marie Antoinette. Jarrod himself reappears, wheelchair-bound and crippled, to open a new wax museum devoted to shocking and appalling its patrons. But how does he make his new creations so lifelike? It's not scary at all by today's standards, but it held my interest reasonably well.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Funny Girl

Stage review from The Movie Snob

Funny Girl. I'm sorry to report that it is too late for you to see Irving Lyric Stage's production of Funny Girl. I saw the show last night, and I believe it closed today. It was a thoroughly enjoyable show, even for someone like me who had never seen it before. I understand that Barbra Streisand pretty much owns the leading role of Fanny Bryce, but Kristin Dausch, the 22-year-old actress who played it in this production, did an exceptional job, especially with the singing. Based on a true story (loosely, from what Wikipedia says), the musical is the story of Fanny Bryce, a talented singer and actress who made it big in vaudeville, film, and radio way back when. She did not consider herself attractive, so she compensated by being funny--she was, perhaps, the Carol Burnett of her day. Of course there's a love story, as Fanny falls for the handsome gambler Nick Arnstein. It's a fine show, and I enjoyed it quite a bit. If you haven't ever treated yourself to a show by the Irving Lyric Stage, you are missing out!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Mad Men (Season One)

From The Movie Snob

Mad Men (Season One). I don't have cable and had never seen an episode of this show before buying the DVD's. I went strictly on critical word-of-mouth. And I'll say watching the first season was definitely an interesting experience. The setting is Madison Avenue, New York City; the year is 1960. The protagonist is Don Draper, a Korean War vet and one of the top dogs (though not yet a partner) at the advertising firm of Sterling & Cooper. He has a beautiful wife, two kids, and a swell house in the suburbs. He also has a mistress in the City, and a mysterious past that starts to catch up with him from the very first episodes. Most of the kick comes from watching people behave in ways that are just unimaginable now. Everyone smokes all the time (including pregnant women), and everyone drinks most of the time--even (or especially) at work. The casual sexism is astonishing. Even seeing children ride in the front seat of a car (without seat belts) makes you look twice. Draper's wife has the suburban blues that Betty Friedan would soon write about in The Feminine Mystique. Draper's mistress is a bohemian artist type, and some of the funnier scenes are the encounters between Don and her beatnik friends. Anyway, I don't think it's as great as the press led me to believe, but I definitely enjoyed it and will watch Season Two.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Escape from New York

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Escape from New York (D+). I had never seen this 1981 John Carpenter classic, and all I can say is, wow. It is a low-budget cheeseball spectacular. It grabbed me from the first seconds, with the zero-frills opening credits and the soundtrack composed on somebody's Casio keyboard. In the near future (1997, I think it said), Manhattan is a completely walled-off maximum security prison in which the prisoners are dumped and left to fend for themselves. Air Force One is hijacked, and the president (Donald Pleasence, Halloween) unluckily bails out right into the middle of the prison. The government brass decide to enlist Manhattan's newest prisoner, Snake Plisskin (Kurt Russell, Big Trouble in Little China), to try to rescue the prez in time for some big summit with Russia and China. Snake has lots of absurd adventures in the prison, whose inhabitants include Ernest Borgnine (From Here to Eternity), Harry Dean Stanton (Alien), Adrienne Barbeau (The Cannonball Run), and Isaac Hayes (I'm Gonna Git You Sucka). It's kind of fun in a cheesy way, but I'm not going to hurry out and find Escape from L.A.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

My One and Only

New review from The Movie Snob

My One and Only (A-). The Dallas Morning News gave this little independent flick a rave review, so I thought I would check it out. It probably doesn't really deserve this A-, but I just thoroughly enjoyed it. Supposedly it is loosely based on the life of the preternaturally tanned George Hamilton (Love at First Bite), and the protagonist is George as a 15-year-old back in the 1950s. His dad (Kevin Bacon, Footloose) is a bandleader, and his mom (Renee Zellweger, Cold Mountain) is a Southern lady who is used to being taken care of. But mom gets tired of dad's tomcatting around, and finally she packs George and his older half-brother Robbie into a car and takes off to start a new life. Basically it's George's coming-of-age story as the trio moves from town to town and his mom looks haplessly for a new husband. I'm not saying it's great art, but I had a good time.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Julie & Julia

Movie review from The Movie Snob

Julie & Julia (B-). This is a pleasant little diversion based on two true-life stories. One is about Julia Child, who famously brought the art of French cooking to America in the years after WWII. The other is about Julie Powell, a modern New Yorker who needs a goal. The goal she adopts is to cook every recipe in Child's book Mastering the Art of French Cooking in one year. Meryl Streep (Mamma Mia!) plays Child as a generally happy giant of a woman, and it is fun to watch her navigate a Parisian cooking school and wrangle her acquired knowledge into a format that an American publishing company will buy. Amy Adams (Sunshine Cleaning) plays Powell as a bit of a self-absorbed sad-sack, with a soul-crushing job as a cubicle-dweller who spends all day on the phone dealing with claims and complaints relating to the 9/11 attack on the World Trade Center. Powell apparently spun a successful blog and then book out of her traversal of Child's cookbook, but the movie left me wondering--did Powell ever get to meet her hero before Child's death in 2004?

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Cold Souls

A new review from Movie Man Mike

Cold Souls. (B-). I wonder if my expectations for this film were too high. I like Paul Giamatti. The trailers for this film made it out to be a comedy. After seeing it, I agree that it is a comedy, but it’s more of a dry comedy and it’s also a drama. Ultimately, it was one of those movies where I wanted to laugh, but I seldom did or could. Paul Giamatti plays himself in the film. He’s acting in a Broadway play and he’s having trouble getting his character right because he’s all stressed out by his life. What does he do? He has his soul removed. Sounds like a good premise, but once he had his soul removed, he wasn’t really all that funny. It was only after he was implanted with the soul of another person that he became more animated and more funny, but then it got serious too—because this is a person’s soul we’re talking about after all. Then his original soul gets sold on the black market and he has to go in search of it to get it back. And in getting his soul back, he discovers that things really weren’t so bad to begin with. If you just have to see this, I say wait until it comes out on DVD.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

District 9

Movie Man Mike chimes in on District 9

District 9 (A-). Great film! I went to see this movie because it had gotten some pretty good reviews and I wanted to see what it was all about. It didn’t seem like a movie that I would like. I was wrong. This movie has some great acting by new-comer Sharlto Copley, who plays a company agent given the task of relocating a group of aliens who became stranded on Earth and who established a shanty-town near Johannesburg, South Africa . The aliens are reviled by all, including Copley’s character, Wikus van der Merwe. To achieve their goal of relocating the aliens, the humans are willing to employ just about any means from trickery to killing. Wikus gains a new perspective and understanding of the aliens as a result of his efforts. The story is filled with lots of thought-provoking historical, political, and racial parallels. I was pleased to see that the film ends in a way that begs for a sequel. Bring on the sequel!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Rifftrax

New from The Movie Snob

Rifftrax: Plan 9 From Outer Space. Well, you loyal readers may be getting a bit tired of seeing reviews about Mystery Science Theater: 3000 and MST3K spinoffs. Unfortunately, Rifftrax is just such a spin-off. Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy of MST3K have a business called Rifftrax that does exactly what MST3K used to do, and they have a website where you can download or order DVDs of their riffs on movies such as Reefer Madness and House on Haunted Hill. Recently they did one of those deals where they performed their show live in one venue (in Nashville, TN as it happened) and simulcast it to theaters across the country (including a few in Dallas) through fathomevents.com. I will say, it was much cheaper than seeing the Joel Robinson crew do their show live here in Dallas, but the immediacy in the live show did add something to the presentation. Anyway, the Rifftrax crew did the infamous Ed Wood movie Plan 9 From Outer Space, preceded by the short Flying Stewardess. They were very funny, and the evening was marred only by a few technical glitches during the short. If you liked MST3K and get the chance to see the Rifftrax crew in action, I do recommend it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Beer review: 55 Select

From The Bleacher Bum

Budweiser 55 Select: The "King of Beers" is trying to position itself as the king of healthy drinking with the release of 55 Select. 55 represents the number of calories per 12 ounces. I picked up a six pack this weekend for a taste test. I truly liked it. The beer is smooth; tastes like beer; has no after-taste; not filling; and tastes better the colder it gets. Budweiser succeeded where MGD 64 didn't.

Bleacher Bum Grading Scale: Homerun, Triple, Double, Single, Strikeout

Grade: Double

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Drag Me to Hell

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Drag Me to Hell (B-). I enjoyed director Sam Raimi's movies Evil Dead and Army of Darkness (especially the latter), so I gladly paid my $1.25 to see this movie at a local cheap cinema. I guess it was about what I should have expected, although I had no idea Oscar nominee Adriana Barraza (Babel) was in it. Young, fresh-faced Alison Lohman (Big Fish) plays Christine Brown, a loan officer who's angling for a promotion. To show her toughness, she denies an extension to a hideous old gypsy woman whose home is being foreclosed upon. This sets a dire chain of events in motion as the gypsy attacks Christine in the parking garage after work and puts a terrible curse on her. The curse manifests itself in a series of creepy and disgusting supernatural assaults on the hapless Christine. Her bland boyfriend and a friendly psychic try to help her, but will she succeed in breaking the curse before she is . . . dragged to Hell??? It's reasonably scary and unreasonably gross, so don't say you weren't warned!

Friday, August 21, 2009

28 Up

From The Movie Snob

28 Up (B+). The other night, the Borg Queen and I took advantage of her Netflix subscription to watch the next installment of this British documentary series. This one was filmed in the mid-1980s, and the 14 kids the director has been revisiting every seven years are now 28 -- good and grown up. Two of them, including the Alex P. Keaton wanna-be, refused to participate this time around. Of those who did participate, almost all of them are married, and most of them seem to be pretty happy with their lives. Of course, the director tries to provoke the ones who came from the lower classes by repeatedly asking if they're satisfied or if they feel they've missed out on opportunities others have had. One of the girls from the lower classes bursts out, "Well, I never really think about it except when you come around every seven years!" or something like that. Anyway, it's good to see that even the poorer kids seem to have pretty decent lives. There is one sad exception. A little boy who was very cute and happy at age seven and who seemed much sadder at age 14 is kind of a drifter at age 28, and he seems pretty clearly to suffer from some sort of mental illness. He is a sad case, and I hope he got suitable treatment after this installment was filmed.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

District 9

Comic Book Guy contributes a movie review

District 9

For those of you who don’t know the plot outline, here’s the synopsis: aliens arrive on planet earth, not to conquer or eradicate the human race, but as refugees. The aliens, called “prawns,” are segregated into a ghetto (District 9), where they are kept separate from humans, ostensibly for the safety of both man and alien. A large multinational corporation is put in charge of policing the aliens and relocating them from District 9 to District 10. Mayhem ensues.

This is classic science fiction fare, full of archetypical images and plot devices. Giant Spaceships (think “Independence Day” - okay, maybe not a classic but you can trace it back to Arthur C. Clarke’s “Childhood’s End”), one man and one alien’s journey of discovery together (think “Enemy Mine” – okay, that’s not a classic either but it’s an archetype nonetheless), cool alien bio-technology coveted by large evil corporation (think “Alien” & “Aliens”– now those are classics) and a healthy serving of the not so thinly veiled allegory (think half the Star Trek TOS you’ve ever seen). The list could go on. Despite the heavy use of these things, or perhaps because of them, the film works. Shot as part quasi-documentary, the plot unfolds quickly and engages the viewer. The use of unknown actors and the lack of “star” talent give the film a certain authenticity that it would certainly lack if say, Brad Pitt, was cast in the lead. Likewise, the use of special effects enhances the movie as opposed to being the reason for the movie. This is not Transformers II, although the film does shift into action adventure mode for the last 30 minutes or so. Don’t worry. It works.

The film does provide food for thought. It touches on a lot of issues: racism, illegal aliens (literally), civil rights, xenophobia, corporate malfeasance, medical experimentation, man’s inhumanity, and exploitation of the disadvantaged. It’s all there and more. Set in South Africa, the film obviously brings to mind the apartheid regime that once ruled that country but it also echoes our own segregated past and the horror of the Nazis' Final Solution. It’s easy to mistreat the prawn – they aren’t human. But what does that say about us?

One word of warning. The R rating is well deserved. There’s some ugly, graphic violence and plenty of F-bombs. Even so, this movie is solid. I give it an “A.” Best sci-fi or action film of the season.

Monday, August 17, 2009

G.I. Joe

The Bleacher Bum makes the call

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - First, this was my favorite cartoon as kid, and the only cartoon I really ever watched. Second, it is impossible to see the previews of this live-action version or read the reviews and go into the theather with high expectations.

This movie is another clear example of what the summer blockbuster has become - not a movie, but a marketable franchise. It rated PG-13, it is a trilogy, it has a video game, it has action figures, it will have some special DVD, and it has tons and tons of C.G.I. What it doesn't have is a good script, good direction, or good acting. It does have its moments: the fight between Baroness (Sienna Miller, who is actually really good and smoking hot) and Scarlett (Nichols), the Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow fight, and it does stick to the comic book storyline. Don't go see this.

Bleacher Bum Grading Scale: Homerun, Triple, Double, Single, Strikeout

"C."G.I. Joe, the Rise of Cobra: Should be graded a Single, but Sienna Miller stretches it into a Double

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Hurt Locker

A new movie review from The Movie Snob

The Hurt Locker (A-). This is the first movie about the Iraq War that I have seen, and it is a good one. The setting is Baghdad, 2004. Our protagonist is Staff Sergeant William James, whose specialty is defusing bombs. He's very good at his work, but he's reckless and occasionally disregards protocol. This tends to make nuts the two other soldiers whose main job is to protect him from snipers as he goes about his deadly business. There's no axe to grind on display here; the camera is "embedded" in the unit, and it simply shows what these men see and experience as they regularly risk death in a hostile and alien land. It plays like a very intense documentary, except in a small handful of scenes in which big-name actors unexpectedly show up and, truthfully, kind of break the mood. I like Ralph Fiennes (The Reader), Guy Pearce (L.A. Confidential), and Evangeline Lilly (TV's Lost) as much as the next person, but their appearances didn't help the cinema verite feel.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Proposal

From the desk of The Move Snob

The Proposal (C). Good romantic comedy is hard to find, and this isn't it. Sandra Bullock (Speed) plays Margaret Tate, a high-powered editor who was probably Miranda Priestly's classmate at the Cruella de Vil Finishing School for Young Women. Ryan Reynolds (Adventureland) plays Andrew Paxton, her long-suffering assistant who pines for an editorial position of his own. When Margaret, a Canadian, runs into immigration trouble, she blackmails Andrew into a marriage scheme. By a remarkable coincidence of timing, this means they have to travel to Alaska for his grandma's 90th birthday party. Will the hydrochloric acid of familial love and togetherness dissolve the metallic hardness of Margaret's heart? Hm. Well, you can't diss a romantic comedy because it's formulaic, only because it doesn't breathe life into the formula, and this one doesn't. Margaret is way way WAY too witchy for a believable transformation after a single weekend in Sarah Palin Land, or for Andrew to forgive her for three years of torment. Plus she's just too old for him (Bullock is 12 years older than Reynolds, per imdb.com). I recommend that you turn down this Proposal.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Hello Again

DVD review by The Movie Snob

Hello Again (D). I was entirely unaware of this 1987 release before The Borg Queen suggested that we watch it. Blissfully unaware, I might add. Shelley Long (Night Shift) stars as a thirtysomething housewife married to an up-and-coming plastic surgeon (Corbin Bernsen, Major League). She dies in a freak accident, and a year later her dippy, new-agey sister somehow brings her back from the dead with a goofy incantation. Needless to say, her reappearance tends to startle a lot of folks. This is a weird movie -- I guess it's supposed to be a comedy, but it is not very funny at all. For long stretches, it almost seems to be a serious exploration of how people would really deal with such a bizarre situation, but it's unconvincing in that regard. In short, seeing this movie did not enrich my life.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Knowing

The Borg Queen assimilates Nicholas Cage in Knowing

Knowing (D+). This movie made no sense. It is about a scientist (Nicholas Cage) whose son opened up a time capsule at school and received a piece of paper written by a girl named Lucinda 50 years earlier. It contains a series of numbers that predicted the date of major disasters and the number of those killed, and more to come. The father spends the remainder of the movie hunting down Lucinda's now grown-up daughter and trying to find a way to avoid the next impending disaster. Meanwhile, his son is frequently visited by these mysterious men with black eyes, don't speak, and "whisper" to him-as well as to Lucinda' granddaughter who is the same age. Sounds intriguing, right? It's not. As is often the case, a good idea is lost in the seemingly hurried execution of a movie. The tone of the movie also kept changing-horror, thriller, sci fi. There was also a "twist" at the end that wasn't so much of a twist as a dead end that made everything that happened earlier in the movie make no sense. The ending was unsatisfying and ridiculous. This movie was fine for a Netflix night with nothing on TV and a break from my Star Trek DVDs, but that's about it.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

G-Force

Movie Man Mike gives us the skinny on guinea pigs

G-Force (B-). I went to see this movie for free as part of Dallas CASA's promotion of its annual Parade of Playhouses fundraising event. I wasn't expecting much from it, but I have to say that I found myself laughing numerous times during the movie. Of course, it's a film aimed at kids, but even as an adult, I could appreciate a lot of the jokes. The special effects were pretty good. I think my favorite character was the mole. Nicholas Cage did the voice for the mole and I wouldn't have recognized it as him until I saw the credits. The storyline follows a group of highly-trained FBI guinea pigs who are trying to steal a secret computer program from an evil billionaire, Leonard Saber. There is also a trained fly and a bunch of trained cockroaches, which was kind of gross. Overall, I enjoyed the movie. It's a long ways from Academy material, but it was fun.

Monday, August 10, 2009

(500) Days of Summer

A second opinion from Movie Man Mike

(500) Days of Summer (B). This movie gives you a pretty good picture of the highs and lows of relationships. After watching it, I had to see if it was written by a male, and yes, it was (Scott Neustadter and Michael Weber). The movie definitely presents the point of view of Tom Hansen, a young 20-something guy who gave up his dream of being an architect and went to work for a greeting card company. There, he met Summer Finn and fell head-over-heels for her. The story is full of charm and wit. Joseph Gordon-Levitt has great comic timing as Tom Hansen and Zooey Deschanel plays an intriguing and mysterious Summer Finn. It's this mysterious part that caused me to wonder if the film was written by a male. We never really see what it is that motivated Summer Finn and her actions seem almost too mysterious, as if the writers didn't quite understand her themselves and didn't know how to write her character. I have no doubt that some of the mystery is intentional on the writers' part because there's a convenient story overlay to explain it, but I also wonder if they based the character on someone they met and couldn't ever figure out. In any event, it's an entertaining film and worth the price of admission. If you've had a recent breakup, I am not sure this is the film for you, but then again, it might be just the ticket to help you move on.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

Deadwood (Season One)

New from The Bleacher Bum

Deadwood. Season 1 (12 episodes). When it comes to television dramas, HBO has set the bar extremely high with The Sopranos and The Wire. Deadwood did not disappoint. It was not an instant classic like those two other shows, but the show was memorable, captivating, and entertaining. It was often shocking because of the violence and profanity, but it seemed very realistic, despite being a western.

The show is about a town in uncharted territory in the north midwest in 1876 after the Civil War and during a bonanza gold rush. The inhabitants of the camp range from businessmen from the east to prospectors to prostitutes to rustlers to criminals. The Town is at the crossroads of loving its freedoms with wanting to be annexed by the United States. There are over twenty characters, but the show focuses on two primary characters: virtuous Seth Bullock (played by Timothy Olyphant) and scheming, diabolical, maniacal, greedy, and nefarious Al Swearengen (exceptionally played by Ian McShane).

Reviewing a television show is not like reviewing a movie. A television drama is more like a novel with a series of story lines and many complex characters. A show can go in a thousand different directions with no end in sight. Deadwood is like that. It takes you on a journey that provides no inclination of where it might end or how its characters will turn out or even survive. Just be prepared to be shocked, entertained, infuriated, and overwhelmed along the way.

Bleacher Bum Grading Scale: Homerun, Triple, Double, Single, Strikeout

Deadwood, Season 1: Triple

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XV

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XV

First up in this collection is "The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy," coupled with an episode from the old serial "Commando Cody and the Radar Men from the Moon." This was from the very first season of MST3K, which means that Josh Weinstein, not Kevin Murphy, was voicing Tom Servo. Anyway, the team hadn't really hit its stride yet. There are a few good gags in this send-up of a Mexican mummy movie dubbed into English, but it doesn't attain any true heights of hilarity. I was surprised to learn from the previews that three of the old MST3K crew--Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy--made a few MST3K-like DVDs a couple of years ago under the name "Film Crew." I don't know whether they started their gig first, or whether it was larger crew that makes the "Cinematic Titanic" DVDs. Is there bad blood between the two factions? Who knows? Anyway, "The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy" merits no better than a C-, I'm afraid.

The second episode is better, though still not one of the best. The film is "The Girl in Lovers Lane," a 1950s movie that is really quite odd. A little weenie of a guy named Danny has run away from home. He hops a freight train, where a marginally less weenie-ish guy named Bix Dugan (or Big Stupid, as the SOLers christen him) inexplicably takes Danny under his wing instead of beating him up and taking his cash. They land in a small town called Sherman and get jobs at a cafe. The cafe owner's daughter Carrie falls for Big Stupid, but he has serious commitment issues. Carrie herself has issues with a local creepy guy played creepily by creepy-eyed Jack Elam (Cannonball Run II). Joel and the robots get some decent riffs off, and their lyrics to the music that plays over the opening credits is very funny indeed. I give it a B-.

The third episode is "Zombie Nightmare," a 1986 movie that is sort of a prelude to "I Know What You Did Last Summer." Five teenaged punks run over and kill a beefy dude in a hit-and-run accident. Unfortunately for them, beefy's mom knows a voodoo priestess, and she turns his corpse into a vengeful zombie. Tia Carrere (Wayne's World) stars as one of the teens, and Adam West (TV's "Batman") headlines as a jaded police chief who doesn't want to bother to investigate the teens' murders. Some funny stuff, especially with a ripe target like Adam West, but not top-of-the-line MST3K. I say B-.

Finally we have "Racket Girls," coupled with the short "Are You Ready for Marriage?" The feature is a terrible 1951 movie about professional women's wrestling and the seedy underworld of racketeering that sprouts alongside it. It is truly awful, with l-o-n-g scenes of women wrestling altogether too seriously. The feature is a C+ at best, but the short "Are You Ready for Marriage?" is an instant classic. A teenaged couple itching to get married after just 3 months together visit a marriage counselor, and he gently opens their eyes to lots of issues they had never thought of before. Although there's undoubtedly some good advice going on in the clip, you'll never notice it amidst the hilarious riffing. The short gets a solid A.

So overall, not the best collection in the world.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

In the Loop

Movie Review from The Movie Snob

In the Loop (B). I enjoyed this political satire of the furious machinations of a bunch of American and British politicos in the run-up to a fictitious war that America plans to launch against an unnamed country in the Middle East. When the movie begins, some spineless British minister has caused a minor uproar with a seemingly innocuous talk-show comment that war was "unforeseeable." Another British pol, who is a hilariously profane and rather cadaverous-looking weasel of a guy, rips the hapless minister apart--and shortly thereafter the poor sap puts his foot in his mouth again during a interview on the street. From there, we jet-set back and forth across the pond as a small group of oppositionists tries to throw some roadblocks up against the impeding war. Tom Hollander, who was perfect as the weenie Mr. Collins in the Keira Knightly-driven Price & Prejudice, is also perfect as weak-willed Brit Simon Foster. James Gandolfini (All the Kings Men) is also good as an American general who is opposed to the war in principle, but whose principles only go so far. And could this be the beginning of a big comeback by Anna Chlumsky, who charmed our socks off as a kid in My Girl and My Girl 2? Well, I never saw My Girl 2, but the first one was tolerable. Anyway, the movie is laugh-out-loud funny in many places as all sorts of scoundrels and fiends do their best to advance or thwart the war effort. Check it out.

Saturday, August 01, 2009

From Here to Eternity

DVD review from The Movie Snob

From Here to Eternity (B). Even though this movie was nominated for 13 Oscars in 1954 and won 8, I knew only one thing about it going in: the famous scene of Burt Lancaster (Local Hero) and Deborah Kerr (An Affair to Remember) making out in the surf on the beach. That scene -- the smooching part anyway -- was surprisingly brief. Anyway, the movie is really just a soapy slice of army life on Hawaii in the few months leading up to the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Considering that the movie was released just eight years after the end of WWII, it is a surprisingly negative portrayal of the army. Montgomery Clift (Red River) plays Private Prewitt, a sensitive sort who is tormented by his company for refusing to box in an upcoming tournament. Frank Sinatra (The Man with the Golden Arm) plays his buddy, who is victimized himself by a sadistic sergeant possessed of a strong anti-Italian prejudice. The company commander is a hack who does almost nothing except cheat on his beautiful wife (Kerr) and encourage the hazing of Private Prewitt. The commaner's wife, in turn, cheats on him with Lancaster's Sergeant Warden, who basically runs the company and has more integirty than most of the other characters (well, except for the adultery part). Donna Reed (It's a Wonderful Life) plays against type as a lady of the evening who falls for Prewitt. Anyhoo, it's a pretty good movie, if a touch melodramatic by today's standards. The film looks great on this DVD, maybe because of something called "superbit" technology, but there are no bonus features to speak of. Definitely worth seeing.

P.S. I actually noticed a continuity error, which I almost never do. There's a scene with Lancaster and Kerr in which he tosses a sheaf of tightly rolled-up papers onto a table. The papers are shown on the table, still curled up tightly. The point of view changes, and when Kerr picks the papers up, they are lying perfectly flat. Woo-hoo! Yay for me!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Rome - Season One

DVD review by The Movie Snob

Rome (Season One). I bought these DVDs a long time ago, probably back when I was reading biographies of Julius Caesar and Caesar Augustus. I thoroughly enjoyed them, watching all twelve first-season episodes over four or five evenings. But be warned--for some reason the directors decided they couldn't tell the story of Julius Caesar without tons of nudity and sex. I've never had HBO, but I guess that's HBO for you. Anyway, just be aware (or beware) that this is NC17 stuff.

Anyway, the series is a saga that unfolds over about 8 years, from 52 B.C. when Caesar has wrapped up his conquest of Gaul (modern France) to roughly the middle of March in 44 B.C. The leading men and women of Rome are accounted for: Caesar, his niece Atia, his great-nephew Octavian, his wife Calpurnia, Mark Antony, Brutus, Cicero, Pompey, and Cato. (Cleopatra also makes an appearance.) Young Octavian, who would eventually become Caesar Augustus, is a particularly interesting character--intelligent and philosophical, but as ruthless as the rest when necessary. But what really draws you in is the focus on two ordinary Roman soldiers in Caesar's army, a grunt named Titus Pullo and an officer named Lucius Vorenus, who become friends and get drawn into the political intrigue around Caesar as he returns to Rome from Gaul. They are a great pair. Vorenus is intelligent, pious, and honorable, but short-tempered and perhaps a little naive. Pullo is a simpler fellow, generally amoral but loyal and likeable, and less prone than Vorenus to assume that aristocrats are automatically virtuous folk.

Although the story seems "soaped up," I think it is basically true to the basic facts of history. The series opens with the death of Julius Caesar's daughter Julia, who was married to his great rival Pompey. With that bond shattered, the two men were put on a collision course that led to years of civil war that raged across Italy, Greece, and Egypt. For Caesar, defeating his enemies militarily was child's play compared to the challenge of reforming Rome's corrupt aristocratic "Republic." It's all there on the screen--the battles, the intrigue, the filthy streets, elaborate temples and forums, and bloody religious rituals. I was engrossed.

A final note on how HBO generally did a good job of not transposing modern customs and mores onto the ancient Romans. The characters occasionally shock you when, for instance, they treat or refer to their slaves as nonhumans, or children as the property of their father. Compassion is almost an unknown concept, and to the extent it exists it is certainly not wasted on barbarians or even on other Romans of lower birth than oneself. Morality itself was different in many ways--but the same in others, especially as exemplified in the touching friendship between Vorenus and Pullo.

I look forward to watching the second season, although I don't see how it can be quite as exciting as the first. Well, the contest for control of Rome between Octavian and Mark Antony could be pretty good, but once Octavian became Caesar Augustus my recollection is that he did a very good job of maintaining control without triggering too many rebellions and without ever succumbing to intrigue. We'll see.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

(500) Days of Summer

From the desk of The Movie Snob

(500) Days of Summer (B+). I enjoyed this independent romantic dramedy starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Stop-Loss) and the ever-quirky Zooey Deschanel (Yes Man). If you've seen any trailers or read any reviews, you can't be too surprised by how the plot unfolds, but I'll err on the side of caution and put a spoiler alert.

SPOILER ALERT *** SPOILER ALERT *** SPOILER ALERT

The story is not told in chronological order, so you learn really quite quickly that things are not going to work out between the ardent romantic Tom and the doesn't-believe-in-love Summer. The pleasure lies in watching how it doesn't work. The tale is told from Tom's point of view, and we know from the start that he is committed to the belief that happiness is attainable, but only if you find The One You Are Meant To Be With. When Summer takes a job at the greeting-card company Tom works for, it's easy to see why he decides she's The One. But she's honest with him: she's looking for something casual, nothing serious. He must proceed at his own risk, and he does. To me, the movie generally felt real--the first pangs of infatuation, the giddiness when the early going goes well, the pain of loss are all well handled by Gordon-Levitt. And you can't really hate Summer when things stop going well. She warned him. And she's just so darned cute.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

The Girl From Monaco

New review by The Movie Snob

The Girl From Monaco (C). In this French import, Bertrand Beauvois is a highly successful criminal defense attorney on the far side of 50. He is a very thoughtful and articulate fellow of unremarkable appearance. He goes to Monaco to defend a woman accused of a lurid crime--the murder of her much younger lover, a Russian who may have had mob ties. Consequently, the woman's son hires a bodyguard for Bertrand, and this fellow, Christophe, is a big dangerous fellow who says little and thinks . . . well, it's hard to know what he thinks, but he does a good job of looking after Bertrand. Anyway, careful and prudent Bertrand meets Audrey, a sexy local TV weathergirl maybe half his age, and perhaps to his surprise they start to have a torrid affair. Audrey is not only outrageously attractive but also utterly unhampered by inhibitions, and Bertrand's ability to defend the murder case is soon in danger of being compromised. And did I mention that Christophe is one of Audrey's undoubtedly numerous ex-boyfriends? It's not really a comedy and not quite a thriller, and the ending didn't really do it for me. But it's interesting enough, I guess, and the lithe Audrey is certainly easy on the eyes.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said

Book review from The Movie Snob

Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said, by Philip K. Dick. This is the fourth novel in the Library of America collection Five Novels of the 1960s and 70s. And I remember reading it and liking it back in high school. In some alternative reality, the student protests of the 1960s became a full-fledged civil war, and now the students have gone underground while those living in society are subject to an oppressive police state of multiple I.D.'s and random checkpoints. Anybody without proper I.D. is nabbed and packed off to a forced-labor camp. Our protagonist is Jason Taverner, a world-famous vocalist with a globally popular TV show. He's also one of a small number of genetically enhanced human beings known as "sixes." After Taverner is attacked by a deranged woman, he wakes up alone in a seedy hotel room with no I.D. and a wad of money in his pocket. Things quickly get even more bizarre: no one in the world knows who he is, and the central databank has no record he ever existed. He'll need all of his genetically enhanced smarts to avoid arrest and figure out how he has been erased from reality. Nice premise for a paranoid sci-fi tale, and it's a pretty enjoyable ride, but I think the ending is a let-down.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Arrested Development (Season 3)

DVD review from The Movie Snob

Arrested Development (Season 3) (B). Although the abbreviated final season of Arrested Development doesn't hit the delirious highs of the earlier ones, it still packs quite a few laughs into just 13 episodes. The first half of the season is probably the funnier half, featuring a story arc in which Michael investigates George, Sr.'s claim that some sinister Brits set him up to take the fall for the Iraqi building project. Charlize Theron has a recurring guest role, and other notable guest stars include Scott Baio (who replaces Henry Winkler as the family's new lawyer Bob Loblaw), Judge Reinhold, and Justine Bateman in a memorable turn as someone who just might be Michael's (Jason Bateman) long-lost sister. I hear that there is a movie in the works, and I will definitely turn out for it. Well, if the reviews are good.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

From a shell-shocked Movie Snob

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (D). Maybe I was just confused because I didn't see the first installment of this franchise, but this very long movie seemed like the most ridiculous thing I have seen on a movie screen in a very long time. It is becoming a perennial complaint of mine that big battle scenes in these summer blockbusters are so fast and so poorly edited that you have no idea what in the world is actually going on. Every fight scene (and there are about nine of them) is a loud and deathly dull blur. I gather that there's a big war on between two camps of extraterrestrial robots (that can transform), and we are unlucky enough that Earth has become their battlefield. This dud probably deserves an "F," but there were a couple of decently humorous moments, and I appreciated the depiction of our men in uniform as exceptionally brave and (generally) extremely competent. Although they're also apparently suicidal, since our finest weaponry seems to have little effect on the diabolical decepticons. Okay, I've wasted too much of my effort and your time on this review. SKIP THIS MOVIE.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Dallas Boat Show

From The Bleacher Bum

The Dallas Boat Show

On Friday, Pedro, Metro, Doug-O, and I went to the Dallas Boat Show. I went in 2005 and 2007. This year's show was not as impressive as years past. And I feel confident in saying that the current economy was the reason. There were about half the number of boats as in 2007. Also, there were only a few extravagant boats/yachts (i.e. price tags starting at $150,000 and up), whereas in years past there would be over thirty. The majority of boats were in the $30,000 - $90,000 range; dealers were offering them at 60%-80% of their sticker price. Lenders willing to provide on-the-spot financing were hard to find as well.

With that all said, it is still a nice event and good way to escape the heat of a hot Saturday or Sunday afternoon. The Dallas Boat Show continues on July 24-26, 2009. It is at Dallas Market Hall off of IH-35 and Market Hall. Admission is ten bucks for adults. They do serve beer and wine. for just five dollars. The one thing the economy didn't affect.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

From the desk of The Movie Snob

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (C+). I should stop reviewing these things because I am sure nobody in the vast throng of people that watch these movies agrees with me. Nevertheless, the critic must attend to his duty. I think I liked this installment a tiny bit better than some of the earlier ones because of the romantic subplots that are developing as the young wizards start to grow up. Those stories were entertaining enough. The heavy stuff about the terrifying evil wizard Voldemort and the effects-heavy battles that advance (?) that plot just leave me cold. Also, I was confused by the arc of this movie -- it seemed like the big question was whether Harry was going to be able to get some big secret out of Hogwarts' newest professor, but then it sort of sounded like Dumbledore had already guessed, or at least half-guessed, the facts that were being concealed. Oh well. I will add that Helena Bonham Carter seems perfect for her role as one of the evil henchmen.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Moon -- A Second Opinion

New review from The Movie Snob

Moon. (B+) I was planning to see this movie anyway, but Move Man Mike's review sealed the deal. There are loud echoes of 2001: A Space Odyssey in this tale of life on the Moon in the not-too-distant future--and that's a good thing. Earth has gotten hooked on good, clean fusion energy, but the catch is that the fuel has to be mined on the Moon. Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell, Galaxy Quest) is the sole human inhabitant of a mining station on the far side of the Moon, with only a vocal computer named GERTY (voice by Kevin Spacey, The Usual Suspects) for company. His three-year contract is almost over, and he's looking forward to returning to his wife and daughter, but his mental and physical health are starting to break down. After an accident nearly kills him, rescue arrives from a most unexpected and mysterious source. Sure, there are some holes and implausibilities in the tale, but it is still an enjoyable and thought-provoking tale. If you like this movie, I urge you to try the novel Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.

Site Meter